Response:
I'm not so sure the transaction is as clearly consumptive as you express it.
Granted, there are energy vampires out there who consume (but do not contribute). Granted too, the scene itself can be draining and there are times when it feels necessary to withdraw and regroup.
On this last point I've seen folks withdraw and then re-emerge phoenix-like having re-invented themselves. Hell, I've done it Myself. The question raised: "are we selfish or selfless?" is an interesting one.
At times, as a Dominatrix, I've felt selfless. Focussed principally on someone else's needs, I've rationalized that this is "part of what it means to be Dominant". At other times, I've utterly used creatures. Blind to their contribution, I've focussed exclusively on My own desires.
When life is good the two things happen in the same evening. When life is excellent the two things happen in the same moment. Perhaps that's the secret to getting this thing that we do right. Accepting the dichotomy... the apparent paradoxes... and vibrating between the two extremes so quickly that it creates the illusion of consistency. As to the influence of others?
Maybe it's a Domme thing but I have My own thoughts when it comes to the twinned sex demons, succubus and incubus. As an aside, how interesting that one can incubate, but not succubate. Or perhaps not so much an aside... When playing in public, a positive environment can incubate the mood. It can create a synergy where 1+1=more than 2.
As a Dominant woman, I get to choose My environment - so I choose to hang around incubae (positive energy vampires who contribute)... and not succubae (the ordinary kind of vampires).
Respectfully,
Lady Nichola