There was a thread on our local email list about terms of endearment. Among the contributions was this excerpt:
But I still cannot rationalize the me who bristles at hearing 'how are you girls today' and other such tripe from customers, with the sub who celebrates being his 'girl'. Any thoughts on this?
nan{SL}
This was abi's reply:
My first thought is of Mr. R.
Mr. R. is a wonderful Polish gentleman in his early 80's. He's a small man, with a beautiful shock of white hair and face that is wrinkled in all the right places from a lifetime of smiling and laughing.
He first came to my store several years ago, in search of CDs and DVDs to play for the residents at the nursing home where his wife, who was suffering from Alzheimers, was a resident. Once a week, he would visit there, taking with him a CD or a movie in order to share with them his love of music and all things beautiful. So, he came often to the store in search of new things and frequently regaled me with humorous tales of the challenges faced over the years by a Polish husband with a Welsh wife.
One day, he came in to say that he had just returned from a trip. His wife had died and he had gone to take her ashes back to Wales. He talked of the trip and all he had seen and at the end he smiled and said "So, my beautiful Welsh girl has finally returned home".
I cried. Not because she had died, but because I was so struck by the absolute beauty of the idea that for this man, despite age and an illness which took her from him in every way possible, she remained in his mind 'his beautiful Welsh girl.' It changed the way I thought about being called 'my girl'.
To an extent, the use of any form of address is contextual. A whole raft of words take on a different feel when they are brought into a D/s relationship. No one else gets away with calling me girl or bitch or slut or well, you know, any of *those* words. Exclusive rights are part of the appeal. But I think it's more than just cultural context. It's about being with someone who understands those parts of me and it's about being with someone who makes it safe for me to be those things; a girl, a bitch, a slut and well, you know. So, when he says 'good girl' it means something. And when he says 'come here bitch' it means something. And when he says 'you're such a slut!' it means something. And it's all good.
And yes, I throw like a girl and I'm okay with that.
abi