A few years ago I attended a workshop called High Protocol. Lady Nichola, who has kindly allowed us to publish many of her articles here at Different Equals, led this workshop.
I'm not sure what I expected as I headed for that workshop, but since I am a great fan of protocol and of Lady Nichola, I was looking forward to that afternoon's session. Lady Nichola began the workshop by announcing that she would not be addressing specific protocols and techniques. That admittedly surprised me, but I was more than willing to go with the flow. The hours flew by. For the most part, what I learned that day didn't sink in immediately. Months later, I am still digesting these words of wisdom.
Lady Nichola presented us with three protocol concepts:
When I first head these concepts, I thought "Yeah, okay, nice. So?"
Give and receive with both hands - it sounded nice, and there was a touch of formality that appealed to me. The first times I tried doing that, at the workshop, I ended up picking the car keys up off the floor - twice. Okay, so this isn't as simple as I thought. Someone mentioned trying to give someone a penny with two hands. They were just joking, right?
Please and Thank You - well of course, that's common courtesy. This is a no-brainer - everybody uses please and thank you! Don't they?
Make Me Proud - now that one I could relate to! It goes without saying that I strive to make my One proud of me! Piece of cake!
I left the seminar having thoroughly enjoyed my time there and feeling that I had learned a lot. I wasn't sure what I had learned, but that didn't bother me. I had food for thought, I had some concepts that appeared easy to understand, and I had all the time in the world to absorb them.
Months later, I have only just begun to understand these concepts and how they can apply to me. I am only scratching the surface, but it is the beginning of a process that can only benefit me.
Give and receive with both hands - I don't use it all the time but I am now conscious of a few things. When I use two hands, there is an obvious formality to the action. I like that on its own merits, it's a step above the norm. It also physically forces me to face the individual. When that happens, my focus also "faces" that individual. I am notorious for multi-tasking. If someone asked me for something, I would pick it up and hold it out, never lifting my head or breaking stride. Now that my thoughts are around the two-hands concept, I realize that by doing this, I am giving that person the impression that they are not important enough to warrant my full attention. By giving and receiving with two hands, my focus is on that person. For that brief period of time, they are my focus, and are important. It makes me feel like I am showing them that they matter and that I care.
Please and Thank You - This is an area that is familiar to me. A few years ago I made a conscious effort to use please and thank you more often. We live in a fast-paced society and tend to take shortcuts when we can. This was a shortcut that I didn't like, and made strides to change that. When I order coffee at a Drive-Thru for example, I will say "thank you" when they tell me to drive up to the window (even if there are 6 other cars ahead of me to drive over). I often hear "You're welcome!" with a hint of surprise in their voice. These small courtesies have proven themselves to me, in acknowledging that I am asking for or receiving something, I offer that person recognition by the use of some very simple words. Demands are suddenly requests. Actions are appreciated.
Make Me Proud - If there was one concept that is ringing out louder than the others, it's this one - it says it all for me. It works two ways. It gives me a very clear guideline on how to act - in any situation. There are no specific protocols or rituals necessary. If what I do makes my One proud, and makes me proud for doing it, then it is right. If there is any question on either side, then it's wrong. It has pushed me to think on a broader plane. It is a simplistic concept - easy to understand, not so easy to internalize. It has however given me a gauge - a measuring stick - that I can apply to any situation. By being honest in my assessment, I then know exactly how to act. I honor my One by making him proud, I honor myself by being proud.
For a seminar that had no concrete examples of high protocol, I know that I have raised my standards exponentially as a result of what I have learned. It has given me three new opportunities to learn more, and this sponge for knowledge is very happy about that.
One last thought. A few days after the workshop, Lady Nichola wrote to our local email group, giving her general impressions about the workshop that she had led. She ended her email with a quote that I greatly admired, and have since adopted in my work environment. It is very fitting, and embraces the highest of protocols - respect.
When the students are ready, the teacher will appear.
Thank you for appearing.
dove
Related article: Make Me Proud - a Response