Scening is a very intimate experience for me. I won't deny that some of it is about techniques and toys. The sensations they deliver to the submissive. The part which might be least obvious to others observing a scene in progress is the flow back to the Dominant. Nothing so passionate and vital can be flowing in a single direction. Why would I be investing all the energy, time and cost involved if I weren't getting anything out of the experience?
What do I get out of scening?
There are many things that I share with My girl which provide me with obvious pleasures in exchange for the experiences I provide her. An easily observed trade of sensations. Right away we all thought of something to do with sex. Yes, sex is a pretty obvious exchange of pleasure. If everyone is in the right space and doing the right things everybody is probably going to have a good time. Well, unless you end up as parsely in a threesome. You know, left on the side and don't even get eaten?
Scening though might seem to be less obvious. The sub is experiencing all the sensations with the toys striking her. Canes, whips, paddles, floggers, more whips and of course... whips. It can seem like it is all about her. Whether you understand how she enjoys such painful experiences as pleasure or not it is easy to see that she is being dealt one heckuva lot of sensory input while the Dominant can be said to stand back and watch.
I've been asked, on more than a few occasions, just what it is that I get out of scening that makes me want to do it. I'm not as well spoken as I might like to be and have never felt that I have given an answer that really fit the bill. Perhaps because it is a very personal thing and those can be the most difficult to express since they suffer when taken out of the context of one's own internal self. Perhaps because there really is no single answer and I enjoy different things with different people. Perhaps because the answer has changed through the years of my journey into BDSM.
Whatever the reasons let me try to express what I get out of scening with My girl at the present time. This is going to be a fairly detailed break-down of what goes on between My girl and I during the stages of a scene so it's a pretty long entry.
The Set-up
It starts with stepping up for the scene. Taking My girl to the cross/bench/post and kneeling her before it while I set-up whatever hardware is going to be necessary to restrain her during the intended scene. As she walks to the position I indicate and kneels, I feel a rush of Love and tenderness for this woman who is so willingly surrendering herself to me for the scene. Yes, I know she wants to be there and I undertstand how much she enjoys the scenes we share but it is an act of pure faith and belief to kneel there while I prepare the scene. A faith that I am making arrangements to create a scene. Something which will be good for us both but which could, if it were allowed to go wrong, be tragic. A belief and trust in her Master's skills and intentions.
The Restraints
She rises and undresses to whatever degree I specify and steps up to be restrained. I attach the cuffs/ropes/whatever to connect her firmly to the furniture in preperation for the scene we are to experience. During this there is a lot of checking to make certain that everything is tight without cutting off circulation or holding her in an uncomfortable or overly restrictive position. There is a lot of touching and checking in to make sure all is as it should be. During this I also get a feel for My girl's headspace. I have abandoned a scene at this point if I felt that she was not in the right place to go where I wanted her to go.
The Warm-up
Sometimes I will begin a scene with a light warm-up period. Not always. I do intentionally begin some of our scenes quite heavily but this too is, in a way, a warm-up. The warm-up is when I deliver sensations to get a feel for where My girl's body is for the rest of the scene. During this portion I am evaluating each stroke and feeling her reactions out very closely. I am deciding how much I think she can take and sometimes using this to decide where I am going to take the scene. It is a sexy part of the scene because there is a great deal of sensuality to it. I use my hands and nails. My teeth and lips. The blow of my breath over a stroke's mark or a whispered question to see how she is doing. It is about discovering who I am scening with today.
The Scene's Core
Once the scene gets going we reach the core which is the base level of sensations, rhythms and direction for it. Here I use a great deal of technique and allow the scene to flow very naturally but it is controlled by my decisions made during the warm-up. I like this part the best because it feels like such a connection between us. It is as close to sex and dancing combined as anything I have experienced and it really turns me on. If I am going to get an erection during a scene it will happen here. Watching My girl's reactions during the core of the scene is similar to watching her suck my cock. It is hot and sensual. It is sex at the end of a flogger.
The Peak
Scenes sometimes reach a crescendo. An upper limit where the energy and sensuality is flowing like a solid bar of connection. The intensity is high and the severity often is as well. This is where a Dominant has to be in control of himself because it is here where everything in me says to hurt My girl as much as I want. It is here that I realize just how helpless she is and that my mercy is all that keeps her safe. It is a prolonged moment of feeling all powerful in both her vulnerability and my own Love balancing to keep her safe. My girl is writhing and crying and screaming in pain/pleasure and it is SO hot. At the Peak of a scene I am her God and she IS at my mercy. I believe My girl feels a loss of connection with Me during a portion of this stage while I feel truly connected and empowered. A dichotomy perhaps but who says we have to get the same things out of a scene at the same time?
The Downslope
Once the crescendo has been passed I begin to reduce the severity of the sensations. Sometimes I will actually end a scene abruptly at the crescendo stage but this has proven to be very hard on My girl so I have taken to spending some time bringing her down. This isn't a warm-down yet. More a return to the core level of the scene. My girl is often wrung out and shaken at this point but the return to the core rebuilds her and allows her to reconnect. She leans into the strokes and sensations and revels in her Master's renewed closeness. If I were into public sex this is the place where I would take her. <smiles>
Warming Down
I don't generally provide a warm-down to the scene. Usually I will end it when it feels right during the Downslope but infrequently I will provide a ramping down to almost nothing. Heavy, rhythmic strokes become lighter and lighter. I will move in close to use my hands and small, sharp implements to regain intimacy and whisper in her ear. I will share my sweat with her or move my body against hers. If there is an erection I will grind it against her ass. It is about cloeness, sexiness and will end with whispery strokes. Again I will admit I rarely do this as it is not generally my style but when I do I enjoy it.
Taking her Down
Removing the restraints and removing her from the furniture involves a lot of checking on her status and checking her for balance, awareness and language skills. Depending on her state I will provide more or less support. I prefer to let her get down herself but provide support if needed. Nobody is going to see My girl fall off a cross. I walk her a few steps away and then lower her.
On the Floor
My girl is put to the floor as I see fit and while I do not invest a great deal in aftercare in the conventional sense I do check her out carefully. If she is extremely unsteady she is sent right to the floor where she can't fall over. I will place my booted legs to either side of her either beside her torso or head as seems fit and wait until she has steadied enough to be left on her own. I then remove the hardware from the furniture while she recovers.
I hope this has presented some of what I get from a scene. It wasn't intended as a virtual scene so much as a description of the kind of thrill it is for me to share a scene with My girl. It is about power and sexiness and control and technique.
After all, isn't it all about Me?
Achilles