This document began as a set of "general guidelines" for the first-ever EhBC play party. EhBC is a kink-friendly social community in the wilds of Southwestern Ontario. In 1997, after several years of operation, they finally became brave enough to organize our first play-party. Because of the relative inexperience of a number of people in the EHBC community, they felt we might benefit from putting some simple guidelines in place for that first party. The guidelines were drawn from many sources and assumed at least a basic knowledge of BDSM practices, regardless of actual level of experience.
This information has been grouped into several categories, and for simplicity, it is assumed that most of these rules apply equally to both private play parties (which typically use their own brands of "house rules") and to public fetish nights. We would suggest that you try to learn the "house rules" of either a play party or a fetish night before you attend.
This section deals with some very basic issues regarding "acceptable behaviour" for play parties, fetish nights, etc. The information contained here is culled from a variety of sources, edited a little bit to apply to more folks on a more general level. The editors were trying to generalize, rather than dictate, suggestions for conduct, aimed predominantly at people with little to no experience in "public BDSM situations".
The following are some common-sense tips that will help make the event more fun for everyone.
Double check interests before proceeding, and immediately respond to safewords while playing. Common safewords might be "yellow" (meaning pause, slow down, check in, etc.) and "red" (meaning "stop immediately"). You can negotiate whatever safewords you like, but if you don't negotiate anything then yellow and red will be assumed.
Do not interfere in someone else's scene unless specifically invited in by the Dom or Top in question. If you seriously believe there's a problem with a scene, appeal privately to the DMs and let them handle it.
Some people like one-on-one play, and others like group activities. If you want to join a scene already under way, don't just butt in, but don't just go away, either. Check with the Top running the scene and join in or not, as he/she says. If approached to join in by a Top, you may politely decline if you wish.
If you're in the vicinity of action or watching a scene in progress, keep out of the way and keep quiet. In the playroom and other play areas, keep what you say to appropriate subjects and to an appropriate level.
If you are into heavily verbal trips, avoid places where your loud shouts, curses, etc. may disturb someone else's scene.
As a Top, force only those who want to be forced, and make certain that you know your bottom's major limitations and turn-offs before you begin.
As a bottom, if you have a medical or other problem that might affect the scene, make certain that your Top is aware of it BEFORE you begin.
No photographs, videos, or other recordings may be taken in the play area without the permission of the organizers and the consent of everyone recorded (this includes people in the background for both pictures and sound). Posed shots for photography or video require written releases from everyone shown in the picture.
The DMs are not housekeepers or maids. Clean up after yourselves throughout the evening, and please consider staying around at the end to help with final cleanup.