Everything we do has some element of risk. There is no getting away from that. That risk is often a big part of the allure - it makes something edgier, more exciting. It's up to each one of us to assess that risk and decide if it is acceptable or not. What is acceptable to one does not ever imply that another agrees. In fact, what is acceptable from one situation to another is not necessarily the same either.
Take flogging for example, it can be anywhere from soft and sensuous to involving cutting. What are the risks? More importantly, what are the acceptable risks? For the purposes of this article, let's assume that the intensity of this flogging has been negotiated and agreed to.
There are still a number of risks to consider. How skilled is the Top? Can the Top be trusted to respect the negotiated limits of the session? Has the flogger been used on someone that could have sexually-transmitted diseases? Can you handle what will happen? What about after-care?
The Top's skill at flogging can make a difference between a good scene and a bad one. A skilled Top can literally make a flogger dance. If the Top continually wraps the tails inadvertently, the bottom will very quickly go from experiencing sensual pain to "this plain hurts" pain, and the scene goes bad.
If Top and bottom scene together regularly, there is an established trust between them. The risk of ignoring the negotiated intensity should not be a factor. A bottom who wants to experience a flogging for the first time, and is thinking of doing so at the hands of a Sadist, needs to take this risk into serious consideration.
The flogger's "history" is a risk that must be considered. Many floggers are made from some form of leather and cannot effectively be sterilized. A small pimple on someone's back may have broken, a cut or scratch may have been fresh - body fluids can easily be transferred onto a flogger. Having your own floggers eliminates this risk. If they are used on different people, knowing who the floggers have been used on still introduces risk, but that risk may be an acceptable one.
After care can make a difference between a good experience and a nightmare. Will the Top provide whatever after care you need? Is this something you are comfortable taking a chance on?
The biggest risk that we all face, in my opinion, is our own ability to deal with what can happen. This risk is different every time we face a situation. A familiar scene can be notched up or down; that creates entirely different sensations. Knowing the Top and how they usually conduct a scene is a huge asset, there is a trust and a certain comfort already established. Our own bodies and mindsets then come into play on top of everything else. The best laid plans can go awry - that's a fact of life. How we choose to deal with that risk is what matters.
We can never effectively eliminate risk. We can minimize it, but we cannot make it go away. We can however establish acceptable risk - but only what is acceptable to ourselves.
dove