To those of us who have been around for a long time, there is a certain challenge to rethinking what feels like the obvious. After, all, we've been safe, sane and consensual since before we also had to be risk aware. So, it's always nice when someone reintroduces the topic, because it inspires me revisit the concepts.
As time goes on, the real challenge for me, since it's all about me, is to determine the personal significance of those 3 words and to examine how the meaning may have evolved for me.
Safe.
This has always been and continues to be the ultimate of what I seek from BDSM. The world can sometimes feel like a very scary place. The irony of seeking safety in a lifestyle where I'm engaging in activities which expose me to all sorts of potential harm doesn't escape me. And yet, it is here that I feel most safe. It is here that there is Someone who stands between me and the world. It is here that there is Someone whose Rule #1 is "Keep abi safe". I like that.
Sane.
I'm not crazy, it's the rest of the world. My personal sanity check is to ask myself every now and then, whether I still have limits. So far, the answer is 'damn straight I do'. Whether I set them myself or I trust my Dominant to set ones with which I can live is somewhat irrelevant. The salient point is that any activities in which I engage are ones that I can distinguish from those which, however much of a turn-on they may be, don't belong anywhere outside my head.
Consensual
I really like the fact that this word isn't spelled consen*t*ual. Somehow, the fact that it ends with 'sensual' makes it a much friendlier word. I also like the fact that it shares the same root as 'consensus' which suggests decision making which takes into account more than one opinion, as opposed to that in which the opinions of someone not in control may potentially be ignored. Not the same as having a vote mind you, but having an opinion which counts is important to me. And that's why I can agree to the things that I do, knowing that my opinion counts, even if my vote doesn't.
In short, as of this revisit, my participation in BDSM still meets my requirements for Safe, Sane and Consensual, even as the associated meanings of those words continue to evolve for me. As long as that's the case, the risk-aware part will take care of itself.
abi
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