The thing about perception of reality is that we perceive it as real. In other words, we lack the objectivity to compare how Monday's reality differs from Tuesday's. What's needed is an outside agency that can give us a point of reference over time.

"You're fatter than the last time I saw you" is unwelcome news, but when someone else says it, you store it as a point of view and look for confirmation or -- more realistically -- denial. Another outside agency, of course, is a set of bathroom scales...but they are notoriously inaccurate and besides, I think the humidity is affecting the spring mechanism inside. Clothes that no longer fit are also a third party reference but certain fabrics do shrink over time and so cannot be considered a reliable benchmark.

And then of course there is looking in the mirror...or better yet photographs. Depending on how hard one looks and depending on how hard one wishes to acknowledge change, these outside elements help us see that, "Son of a gun, she's right. I have put on weight."

When it comes to the mind, very few of us have friends who approach us with the unwelcome news, "You seem to have a slightly more mechanistic view of the universe since I last saw you".

Even fewer of us have scales that read off "Zen units" instead of pounds.

But everyone has "clothes" that no longer fit. And some of us have written snapshots of how we felt about things in the past.

Maybe the original question is a little unfair. "Have any bdsm experiences affected your perception of reality on a long term basis?" is very broad in scope.

I've had quite a few bdsm experiences that were profoundly affecting; some that left me with substantial spiritual food for thought and a few that have altered my understanding of what is real and what is possible.

Much of the practice of bdsm involves the so-called exchange of power between participants. Power exchange is hellishly difficult to write about since it mainly resides in the perception of the participants but it's an important arena that has modified my perception of "The Possible".

Within "power exchange" one attempts to communicate on as many levels as possible. It's an exercise in projecting one's personality into an object of contemplation. As such, it meets the definition of empathy on every level.

Unlike most vanilla environments where empathy is usually a single person's point of view on a single level of communication, D/s is a passionate exchange of empathy between two or more people.

We engage in empathic exchanges that are remarkable in their intensity - All of the known senses are engaged and (I would argue) so are any senses that are not known about - And there is an intense commitment by the parties to own or to be owned...to possess or to be possessed.

This process seems to trigger some peculiar, lingering effects. One of which I am sure is common to many Dominants - that of a greatly increased degree of insight. Insight into our fellow creatures is built on experience and exercising those parts of the brain that might be involved...gods know, we get plenty of exercise. The effect can be quite uncanny. I don't believe it's simply a case of being more observant and having a greater database of experience from which to draw conclusions. I believe that we learn to tap into something greater than the immediately obvious.

Maybe that's rewiring the brain, maybe it's "flashbacks" or maybe it plain old self-delusion. Personally, I don't care. The net effect is remarkable enough and consistent enough that I can endure the "useful fiction" that D/s can trigger "psychic" effects.

Another effect that is less common but that is a gift shared by several of my friends is that of expanded and extended senses. Speaking only of the five known: hearing, sight, smell, taste and touch - I've seen my friends grow in this respect over the years. It's not just a "Dominant" thing. I've seen submissives develop sophisticated and discerning palates that are not quite superhuman, but certainly exceed the abilities of most folk. It also seems that they observe and hear things in a slightly different way too.

So far, although this is cool, it is not outside the realm of "normally" expanded perception. Focusing on any aesthetic discipline is likely to make one more sensitive in other areas. So (one could argue) it's not remarkable that someone who appreciates sculpture would also appreciate fine wines.

Where it becomes unusual, in my opinion, is in the area of touch. Unlike the other senses, touch is more easily mutually perceived by the parties involved. "Do you see what I see?" is a much harder question than "Do you feel what I feel?"...

This is really overstating the obvious, but when a Dominant touches a submissive, both feel it. What is less obvious is that we spend a good deal of time touching our subjects with instruments that are not hard-wired into our central nervous system. We use inanimate extensions to our body to create intimacy and empathy.

And yet we "feel", from the crop's perspective, the impact and we sense the cut of a whip or the thud of a flogger. The speed of motion of the crop is too fast for our sight alone to guide it. We have to reach out and sense the very tip of it.

Regardless of the tool involved, if you watch a good Dominant in action you see that they are not primarily guided by sight at all.

Dominants close their eyes at unusual moments in the course of a stroke. Often there is a long blink just as the blow is launched. The eyes are open to follow the course and acknowledge the impact; then the eyes close again at the point of impact t o savor the sensation.

The sense of touch is not just expanded in sensitivity -- it is also _extended_ beyond our physical body.

I'm convinced that over time, this has the effect of rewiring our perception of touch.

This can be demonstrated to have some truth behind it.

If the individual statement is true, that Dominants can feel without actually touching -- then logically surely so too can a submissive.

And if that's the case then it would be possible for a Dominant to cause a submissive to feel something without physically touching her.

I know a few people in the D/s world who can do this well. Who have the ability to "touch" without physically touching and the ability to "feel" without being physically felt.

I think almost everyone possesses this ability, but that D/s helps hone the skill.

And having experienced it once, I believe it permanently changes ones concept of what is possible and what is real.

Lady Nichola