Warning - this is a rant. I'm allowed - it's my website.......... This pertains much more to the online world and since there are many from "that world" who visit here, here goes.
I see - over and over - "trainers" offering to train submissives. Typically they identify as dominants, and of course they are experts and are most willing to train a new submissive. If they are asked what skills they teach, the response is usually "I train submissives to submit!". I liken this to learning from a flight attendant about to fly an airplane .Who better to teach someone submission than someone who isn't one huh *growls*
These pseudo-trainers are rampant online. They have no specific skill sets, yet they target the willing newbies. What boggles my mind is that there are some who actually fall for these ruses. Being taught to "kneel correctly" will only work if you kneel for that specific person. Being taught to say "Yes Sir" should take all of 30 seconds. What puts all this into question for me are the inherent benefits to the pseudo-trainer. He (please assume gender-neutrality) has a playmate without any responsibility. "I am going to teach you how to take the whip now. Hold still!" Training complete but said whip session lasts until he gets his jollies - all in the name of training. These pseudo-trainers imply that we - submissives - need to be "trained" to function within bdsm. I'm still trying to figure out how a highly intelligent person suddenly becomes clueless and naive to the point of needing to be trained to breathe the minute they identify as a submissive. The only valid reason I can come up with is "Because I'm a Trainer!!!"
Submission is not a skill, at best it's a mindset and it comes from the heart. I totally endorse someone's desire to learn more about submission, however I don't feel it can be taught - especially by someone who does not submit. You either want to submit or you don't. How you express your submission will vary based on your own values and your dominant's preferences. Much of our journey is about self-discovery - what works for us. Our answers lie within - not with a "trainer".
There's great merit in calling yourself a trainer IF you are qualified to transfer a tangible skill. Skills such as bootblacking, formal dinner service, budget management, etc., are all real skills and the trainees benefit from this transfer of knowledge. All have practical applications that can enhance a healthy D/s relationship. A transfer of knowledge is never a bad thing.
With the number of people relating to bdsm rising meteorically, trainers are badly needed so that everyone has an opportunity to learn and grow. Trainers have a skill that is worth transferring to those who have a desire to learn. Trainers do not mold people, they transfer knowledge and/or skill. Trainers do not control their trainees. They train and hope that they have taught something worth remembering. While compassion and sincerity are a good trainer's traits, trainers walk away at the end of a training session and are not responsible for their trainees once 'class' is over. And a trainer continues to hone their own skill sets so that the trainees get the best they can offer.
"Kneel bitch" is not a skill set.
dove